In Christ Alone….To My Beloved Sister…

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There is a song that grips my heart every time that I hear it. I still remember where I was the very first time that I heard it many years ago. It is In Christ Alone. I have copied the lyrics below.

In Christ alone

My hope is found

He is my life, my strength, my song

This cornerstone , this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest, drought and storm

What heights of Love, what depths of Peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

my comforter, my all in all

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone who took on flesh

Fulness of God in helpless babe

This gift of Love and righteousness,

scorned by the ones He came to save,

Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied;

For every sin on him was laid

Here in the depth of Christ I live

There in the ground , His body lay,

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Up from the grave he rose again!

And as He stands in victory,

Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This the pow’r of Christ in me,

From life’s first cry, to final breath.

Jesus commands my destiny

No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from his hand

Till he returns or call me home

Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand …..

I sit and watch my older sister laying in a hospital bed in ICU almost lifeless. There are tubes coming and going, multiple medicines being administered, bells and whistles going off, nurses coming and going and loved ones standing around not knowing what to say to one another. Each one of us feels a different kind of pain. We look at her with a different set of eyes, different experiences and history with her. We are drawn together because of her. We are drawn together because we all love her.

This is a glass window into my heart, into the very depth of what I am feeling right now at this very moment. IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS!!!! I want to scream so bad because my heart is breaking. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I am angry and heart broken all at the same time.  I cry by myself, when I’m alone. Pride tore us apart, pride kept us apart, her illness brought us back together and the love of Christ gave me a heart to love her as if nothing ever happened. I cannot image the physical pain that she is in. She’s my only sister. This world is cruel Lord. It was cruel to You and it is cruel to us.

Death. We cannot escape it…everyone…everything dies. Many people anymore describe religion as a “journey.” The apostle Paul described a relationship with Christ and this life as a race. At the end of his life he tells Timothy that he won the race and that he fought the good fight.

I want to be selfish and have my sister stay here with all of us and continue to fight the cancer that has invaded her body. She is so tired. I am in awe with her that she has fought as long as she has. I am inspired by her strength. She fought and fought and in the fight she rededicated her life to our Savior Jesus Christ.

No one around her wants to talk about this possibly being the end of her life. I don’t want to talk about it. God only truly knows but if I were able to say anything to her I would tell her this…

Your “journey” is about to catapult you to a place beyond your wildest dreams. Jesus is waiting for you. This is what you have been training for here on Earth. This is what the hope you had in Jesus was all about that one sweet day you would be with Him, in His presence and you would be able to see Him as He really is. This is the beginning. It is not the end of life because your life is eternal! You did it! You conquered death. You have been fighting this whole time to keep your body alive when Jesus bought your soul for all of eternity. Now you can really live. You are free! Close your eyes….take a deep breath….now jump! When you get there save a place for me because I will be coming soon. I love you….I love you…I love you….your lil’ sis’ ~Missy

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Not for one moment…

Sword_and_Shield_original_by_angelfire7508I don’t think that I have seen the sun in days. If  it has been sunny I haven’t noticed. All I see is a grey sky. I walk outside and take a deep breath the cold February air fills my lungs. I exhale slowly. Today will be full of many battles. Most of them are in my own mind. Most battles aren’t won over night. They take time, strategy and a commitment. Even when those things are in place there is something needed that is even more important. Let me rephrase that, there is someone that is needed.

Today is going to be grueling. I am so in tune to this particular battle because I seem to fight it so often. The enemy knows when I am wearing down. I am usually aware of his coming. I can hear him approaching. Most days when I hear him approaching I turn and run away; not today. Something inside me is telling me to holdfast and stand my ground. He is within range now I can see him waving his banner. Loneliness has waged war and he is not alone. Today he brought Rejection with him. I want to run but for some reason I cannot move. I am frozen in fear. I feel the wait of the two as they approach. It is almost more than I can bear. They mock and ridicule me. It is too much and I fall to my knees. My struggle is great and I cry out to my God. They laugh and they scorn, “Where is your God?”

“I am right here!” His voice was like thunder! Loneliness and Rejection trembled with fear. They knew they were finished.  They were quickly taken away by the power of His glory. With a gentle hand He lifted me up and wiped my tears. “I am always here for you.” He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you. The battle is not yours but it is Mine.” He then wrapped His arms around me and filled my heart with His love. It was in that moment that I realized that throughout my whole entire life He has always been with me. He never left me…not for one moment.

Father God, I come to you in the name of my Savior Jesus Christ. I praise You for who You are. No matter who rejects me, mocks me, ridicules or spreads lies about me You hold me close. You speak Your truth to me. You vindicate me. You rescue me out of all my troubles. It is for Your name sake that You would think of me. It is Your loving kindness that You brought me out of a dark place. It is because of Your heart that You would send Your Son to die for the whole world so that each one of us could have a relationship with You because of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. It Is so the whole world may know that You are God. The One and only! Amen.