There is a song that grips my heart every time that I hear it. I still remember where I was the very first time that I heard it many years ago. It is In Christ Alone. I have copied the lyrics below.
In Christ alone
My hope is found
He is my life, my strength, my song
This cornerstone , this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest, drought and storm
What heights of Love, what depths of Peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
my comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe
This gift of Love and righteousness,
scorned by the ones He came to save,
Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For every sin on him was laid
Here in the depth of Christ I live
There in the ground , His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This the pow’r of Christ in me,
From life’s first cry, to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from his hand
Till he returns or call me home
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand …..
I sit and watch my older sister laying in a hospital bed in ICU almost lifeless. There are tubes coming and going, multiple medicines being administered, bells and whistles going off, nurses coming and going and loved ones standing around not knowing what to say to one another. Each one of us feels a different kind of pain. We look at her with a different set of eyes, different experiences and history with her. We are drawn together because of her. We are drawn together because we all love her.
This is a glass window into my heart, into the very depth of what I am feeling right now at this very moment. IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN OUT LIKE THIS!!!! I want to scream so bad because my heart is breaking. I open my mouth and nothing comes out. I am angry and heart broken all at the same time. I cry by myself, when I’m alone. Pride tore us apart, pride kept us apart, her illness brought us back together and the love of Christ gave me a heart to love her as if nothing ever happened. I cannot image the physical pain that she is in. She’s my only sister. This world is cruel Lord. It was cruel to You and it is cruel to us.
Death. We cannot escape it…everyone…everything dies. Many people anymore describe religion as a “journey.” The apostle Paul described a relationship with Christ and this life as a race. At the end of his life he tells Timothy that he won the race and that he fought the good fight.
I want to be selfish and have my sister stay here with all of us and continue to fight the cancer that has invaded her body. She is so tired. I am in awe with her that she has fought as long as she has. I am inspired by her strength. She fought and fought and in the fight she rededicated her life to our Savior Jesus Christ.
No one around her wants to talk about this possibly being the end of her life. I don’t want to talk about it. God only truly knows but if I were able to say anything to her I would tell her this…
Your “journey” is about to catapult you to a place beyond your wildest dreams. Jesus is waiting for you. This is what you have been training for here on Earth. This is what the hope you had in Jesus was all about that one sweet day you would be with Him, in His presence and you would be able to see Him as He really is. This is the beginning. It is not the end of life because your life is eternal! You did it! You conquered death. You have been fighting this whole time to keep your body alive when Jesus bought your soul for all of eternity. Now you can really live. You are free! Close your eyes….take a deep breath….now jump! When you get there save a place for me because I will be coming soon. I love you….I love you…I love you….your lil’ sis’ ~Missy