Keep Digging…

Forgiveness. For me that is one of those words in the English language I would like to remove. For the Christian, I believe it is one of the most powerful tools God gave us. After all it was God who sent His one and only Son to die on our behalf for the FORGIVENESS of mine and your sin. Whether you accept that forgiveness is not the point. The point is He did it knowing many would reject his gift. That is exactly what it is a gift.

When we forgive someone the point is not whether or not they receive it. The point is that we forgive them for whatever they have done. It is a heart issue.  The Bible clearly states that we are to forgive “7 times 70”. I don’t know about you all but I know there is one person in my life that I am pretty sure is at number 399! I think we all have those people in our lives. I am far from perfect. I need forgiveness as well. I don’t always say the right thing or do the right thing and I have to ask for forgiveness.

I have written in my journal, out of the Message Bible from Romans 8, “the best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are thing to do and places to go.” I confess, I hold on to unforgiveness. I needed to take it and bury it once and for all. That is exactly what I did.

There are two people that I struggle with. One is a distant part of my life and one comes and goes but both I had to forgive. These two people have caused me a great deal of pain. I was holding on so tight. They have inflicted wounds in my children’s hearts that I see when they talk of the relationship. When I would see this in my kids I held on tighter! It was crucial for my relationship with Christ to grow and develop that I forgive these people. You may think I am a crazy person after I share with you what I did. I don’t care…really I don’t. It was a release and freedom I have never experienced in my life!

I took half a day and wrote them letters. It was letters that I knew I would never send. I poured every hurt, every arrow thrown, every dagger drawn, I let it pour out from heart. I didn’t sugar coat anything. I told it exactly how I saw it. I realize there are always two sides to every story. I, at this moment in time, was focused on my side of the story. My hurt. When I got all typed out that was done wrong to me. God spoke to my heart. He spoke to my heart and said, “Now write your part in it”. I stopped and thought about it. I thought about our whole relationship. (I want to quickly say that if you have been abused in anyway, sexually, physically, whatever you did not have a part in that evil act!) There was a lot of things I could’ve done different. There was a lot of times that I just reacted and used no self-control when it came to my own words. Then the biggest part that God revealed to me was my heart. My heart toward these people was cold, hard and just plain ugly. There was no love. I allowed my hurt to harden my heart. God showed me myself. In these relationships there was no reflection of His Son.

I printed the letters, deleted them from my computer, shredded them, placed them in a paper lunch bag and wrote on the outside of the bag ‘FORGIVEN’. I went outside and found my husband’s shovel and proceeded to go into the wooded area of our yard. I started to dig a hole. I dug and dug and dug and dug until I looked at my hole and was satisfied that it was deep enough for the purpose I had intended. God spoke to my heart again and said, “dig deeper”. I dug deeper. I asked, “Lord is this deep enough?” He said, “dig deeper.” I dug deeper. “Lord, is this deep enough?” He said, “yes.” I placed my brown lunch bag with my letters of forgiveness in the hole and I read these words, “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For“whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3:8-12.

I through the index card that the Scripture was written in the hole and I proceeded to fill in the hole. Packed the dirt down tight and placed some rocks on top of it as a reminder. The reminder was for me. All those things done, feelings, situations are dead. When I see that spot and I may have certain feelings come up in my heart I can say “I buried them, they are dead!” For me this was a physical expression of my forgiveness. Every step was significant and had meaning. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have prayed about this many times but when I physically took part in the forgiveness process it impacted my heart and my life like never before. I left that spot in my yard different. Changed. I felt freedom and it is a wonderful feeling! Forgiveness is freedom. Freedom is power.

Maybe the person reading this needs to forgive someone. Maybe you need to ask someone to forgive you. I pray whatever one you are that you do it and quickly. Remember “God’s Spirit beckons, there are things to do and places to go.”

 

 

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